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YOU JUST MIGHT BE A GRAD STUDENT IF:

- You can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate. - Your cubicle is better decorated than your apartment. - You have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet. - You are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read. - You have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar. - You rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop. - Everything reminds you of something in your discipline. - You have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event. - You have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper. - There is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours." - You actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche. - You can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library. - You look forward to summers because you're more productive without the distraction of classes. - You regard ibuprofen as a vitamin. - You consider all papers to be works in progress. - Professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore. - You find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text. - You have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area. - You have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation. - You reflexively start analyzing those greek letters before you realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation. - You find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th grade". - You start refering to stories like "Snow White et al." - You frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy - You look forward to taking some time off to do laundry - You have more photocopy cards than credit cards - You wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication"